Getting the point

Most medical folk know the following quote from "The House of God" by Samuel Shem

There is no body cavity that cannot be reached with a #14 needle and good strong arm

There was, thankfully, no need of arm strength, but today I did meet a large bore needle, because another truism of medicine is that surgeons have two ways of treating patients: stabbing and slicing. Having already been sliced 2 weeks ago, it was inevitable that I would get my turn on the pointy end of a cannula. The lurid details (while undoubtedly fascinating to those of a similarly clinical bent to myself) will be omitted out of respect for the squeamish, but let's just say it was somewhat reminiscent of the visuals which accompanied the first verse of the Beverly Hillbillies' theme song. ;)

The aim was to relieve the prolonged discomfort of the last week, which would be a Very Good Thing. It was also a huge relief to learn that my post-operative complication was not only rare, but was absolutely not caused by my own over-enthusiastic attempts to return to normal activity, as my friends had feared. So I'm innocent! :-)

The other point I got today was that I have slipped even further out of touch during my absence from the Open Directory Project/DMOZ. I have always been determinedly and deliberately inept at political manoeuvering, and it has definitely made life difficult at times, in a large organisation with its fair share of agendas and alliances. However, I have muddled along with a combination of dogged commitment and a genuine enjoyment of the volunteer community. 

It was therefore depressing to realise today that my lack of political expertise might have adverse effects on other people. That is very unfortunate, and it is further proof (if any were needed) that we are in a constant battle of style over substance in all areas of life.

Double double, causes trouble

If there's one thing guaranteed to ruin my mid-year resolution of serenity (of course there are way more than one, but I'll try to focus), it's hypocrisy.

I realise I'm not alone in feeling outraged about this sort of thing, because society has developed a number of common words and expressions to describe the behaviour:

two-faced

double-dealing

being duplicitous

doublespeaking

backstabbing

Janus-faced

speaking with a forked tongue

We see it in our public and private lives, and it is as insulting as it is infuriating, because acting like this implies that the other person is too stupid to see the truth. Unfortunately, people often do not realise the true situation, but I don't think it is due to stupidity. More likely it simply does not occur to them that they are being deceived or misled.

Please indulge me while I describe two specific  instances, one public and one private, because they illustrate the phenomenon well.

For reasons which escape me, I had to pay all the (large) fees for my recent surgery in advance, but I could not claim anything from medical benefits until a week afterwards. So as soon as I could drive I went to the claims department, and after waiting 20 minutes in line I presented my accounts and underwent the usual interrogation to determine that I wasn't a dangerous criminal with counterfeit documents. (I'm surprised they don't demand to see the scars.) Then she asked for all my bank details so that she could transfer the refund. I had expected to receive a cheque, and didn't think to bring all the required numbers, so she handed me a long, two-sided form and told me that if I filled that out and posted it in, I should get my cheque within 4-6 weeks. Yes, weeks.

Alternatively, if I returned with the required banking details, she could transfer the funds electronically and they would be in my account in 6-10 working days. 

Excuse me? How on earth can it take a nanosecond to extract funds from my account, and a minimum of 2 weeks to deposit them? Arrgghh.

(By the way, there's no need to send me similar banking/government stories. I do know what they are like. This was just the most recent and my blood pressure is still raised over it.)

On a more individual level, I learned earlier this year that I had allowed myself to be misled about what I had thought were friendships. It happens to most of us at some time, and I'm not really whining about it - we live and learn. However, I recently discovered that one of these people has been deceptive in far more than just friendship, and in fact has been for a long time. It's not a criminal deception, or I would have no hesitation about reporting it, but it does represent a prolonged case of being two-faced. The individual holds a senior position in an organisation to which I belong, and has frequently disciplined others over precisely the same behaviour, which has apparently remained undetected until now. I doubt there is anything to gain by exposing this person, but I am glad that I had already realised our friendship was not as I had thought, or I would be distressed rather than merely very disappointed.

But finally, to balance the above two whinges, here are three glorious headlines from today's news:

"Economy slowing faster than expected" (It's an oldie but still a goodie.)

"Dead 'collector' leaves behind stolen works" (Really?)

and just to show that I like toilet humour as much as the next person:

"House-sized dog poo causes chaos at museum" (Not to mention the actual dog!)

It's the little things that count

Many thanks indeed to all those who sent kind messages here and via email and Facebook while I was in hospital. 

I took my laptop just in case, and was thrilled to find free broadband via ethernet, so I was able to keep in touch with people and while away the days with some soothing editing in ODP and BOTW. 

As I expected, it was an eye-opening experience to be an in-patient, and I rapidly came to realise that once you know you are going to go home eventually, the big issues fade to insignificance and the tiny things exert the greatest influence on your day, for better and for worse.

Day Brighteners

• The friend who ensured that flowers were in my room by the time I woke from surgery.
• Free internet (for reasons of sanity and companionship)
  
• Prompt attention by IT (who first had to "test" my laptop for presumably dangerous somethings. It passed. Phew.)
  
• Great food (no, really, it was outstanding, and all patients know that meals are the highpoints of every day.)
  
• Food not only varied and tasty, but arriving hot. (See above)
  
• Proper cutlery (eating in a semi-upright position is hard enough without bendy plastic knives and blunt plastic forks)
  
• Endlessly patient "Service Assistants" who refilled my water jug umpteen times a day.
• The surgeon's young son who came with his father on Sunday morning and gravely assured me that "Daddy will fix you up. He always does."
  
• The wonderful crispness of a sunny winter morning the first day I could walk outside.

Day Darkeners

• Staff not explaining who they are or why they have come to speak to you.
  
• Staff coming into the room and reading my notes without even looking at me or saying hello.
• "Duty of care" taken to ludicrous extremes. Many infuriating examples, but this was the silliest: I asked the meal-delivery person if she could please raise the head of my bed so I could eat, but she was "not allowed" to do that, so I had to wait for an "authorised" person, by which time my dinner was cold.
• Leaving the bright examination light on when leaving the room. (It was out of my reach.)
• Not returning the bed/door/curtain to its pre-visit state before leaving.
• Leaving the bedside trolley out of reach.
  
• Putting the pillows on a shelf wayyy out of post-op reach (can you see a theme here?) 

But I am home now, healing as fast as I can and hoping to avoid further surgery (for a troublesome complication). If I do have to go in again, I will be forewarned, because I now understand that "nursing" has become less about patients and more about administration, "performance indicators", "quality assurance", and the afore-mentioned "duty of care". Dozens of staff helped to care for me, and they all did their jobs, but it's very sad that I remember only two who treated me as an individual with needs, fears, or concerns of my very own. 

I was a very "good" patient, and did not bother the staff at all, but perhaps I need to attract more attention next time. I don't know when or why it apparently became too time-consuming, out-dated, unprofessional, or perhaps just inefficient for nurses to provide, but I would have given a very great deal for some good old-fashioned TLC.